There was this topic for Blogtember that I never did and was going to when I felt the time was right. Unfortunately, the time will never be right. That day really struck me hard, and it changed the mindset I’d had for a really long time: His threats and abuse are over — he can’t hurt me anymore.
Just revisiting the site and talking about it is causing a nervous feeling in my body to occur, but I know I need to talk about it. I need to address it — to face it — to really be able to take back my life.
I’m going to assume research was not conducted and that the term “cease and desist” came from my post on AVON’s debt collectors (now private/requires logging in) considering the childish cease and desist “letter” that thoroughly contradicts itself considering “my name” was mentioned.
It’s like a slow, steady, unwinding piece of yarn
that tangles once set down, forming a knot.
It makes me feel sick, like I cannot escape.
Maybe I’ve caved and relapsed,
or maybe I’ve fallen and hit the pavement.
A cry or two here and there fills the air silently,
lasting at least two hours each.
That voice in my head I spent so long trying to ignore
begins to surface, using a louder and much thicker voice
as it rises through the floor of the staircase
I’ve been slowly climbing.
And it’s just there:
Yelling and clawing and taunting at me. Georgie’s post is kind of coincidental, too.
It’s like I was supposed to stumble across it today
and think of it after such an occurrence today.
OH MY GOSH, that hurt. If having a decayed tooth1removed doesn’t hurt as bad as having the wisdom teeth removed, I’m terrified to go get my wisdom teeth removed next year. They prescribed hydrocodone, a pill I put everywhere on allergy sheets due to the fact that it gives me utterly horrendous nightmares contrary to its pain relieving ways, and I wish they’d prescribed the 800 mg ibuprofen instead so I could take an entire dosage of pain reliever instead of just half in order to [hopefully] avoid the majority of the pain.
I was supposed to sleep, but I only made it to halfway sleep mode. And I’m certain they thought I was asleep. Nope. I was half awake, half asleep, and half high off whatever that oxygen stuff they gave me was.